Government braces for Depression Charles with three weeks of warnings and not a single shovel
The Executive insists the worst of it is at the door, that the door will be shut tomorrow, and that overzealousness is something only people who don't foot the bill complain about.
The Government declared that prevention is better than cure, and prevention is, as of yesterday, the only policy in force. Cure has been deferred to the next budget.
The Minister for Internal Administration warned that the worst period is right on the doorstep. He did not clarify whether the door opens inwards or outwards, nor who has the key.
A source in the minister's office insists there was no overzealousness. There were three press releases, two alerts and one press conference, the bare minimum required for a storm of medium size.
A mayor from the interior, who asked not to be identified, confirmed that prevention arrived by text message. The river arrived by another route.
The Assembly pigeon, who followed it all from the cornice, took shelter early. It was the only one to comply with the alert without needing an official order.
Prevention means warnings in bulk; cure is saved for when the warnings stop paying off.
The reality behind the satire
Real news · rtp.pt · 11 November
Com elogio a Luís Neves, Montenegro defende que “mais vale prevenir do que remediar”
This story, published by a real newspaper, inspired the piece above. The Falsumundi piece is made up; this story is not.
